Monday, 27 February 2012

Music Monday


Oscars anyone? So happy to see Viola Davis going natural AT THE OSCARS! And Jessica Chastain won with the McQueen, obviously. But I have to say, E!'s red carpet coverage was pretty bad, and I gave up around half one because I did not feel like watching Kelly Osbourne  and Kat Graham talking like they know fashion when I could have been sleeping.

Saturday, 25 February 2012

When Life Hands You A Eurozone Crisis...

Have I ever mentioned that I'm unemployed? I actually like to refer to myself as a full-time writer because that sounds fancy and like I do something intellectual. ("Oh, you fancy huh?" Drake asks. "Yeah, I am, boo,"I reply). In reality, though, I am just unemployed.

It's not my fault! My last job was working as a Saturday girl in a card shop where I got paid £3.45 an hour and the till was so old, if you made a mistake (such as typing in "3000" instead of "30.00") there was no option to erase it and instead you had to write a note that said, "Dear John [le boss], I accidentally pressed 3000 instead of 30.00, sorry." I just don't think people accept that as valid "previous retail experience". I also did my two weeks of work experience at House of Fraser, where I learnt how to hang bras in size order and take off those little magnetic security tag things...but sadly, I also don't think people accept this as "experience".

I have hit a low point, though. I applied for a job at a call centre. AND GOT REJECTED. Honestly, if I cannot get a job being the annoying, non-helpful person on the other end of the customer service line, what hope is there for me? I have many skills in life but I'm not sure many of them will be any use in getting me a job. For instance, I can:

  1. Apply a perfect smoky eye
  2. Make lasagne
  3. Have seven tabs open at once on Safari and not get confused
  4. Bullshit my way through an essay on symbolism in Nineteen Eighty-Four or the pros and cons of utilitarianism or the environmental impact of cotton production
  5. Do the linedance from the recent version of Footloose
But I have yet to see any of those things on the "Essential Criteria" section of a job specification.

Once more I say it is not my fault! As we all know, we are currently in an economic crisis! Protests in Greece! Bailouts! Eurozone crisis, Supercommittee, subprime mortgages, squeezed middle, budget cuts etc. And I don't exactly live in a bustling metropolis - actually, you are never more than ten minutes from a cow/sheep/horse/pig/chicken in these parts. Also llama. And one goat.

I'm sure I had a point in here somewhere...

Oh, yes. So I'm unemployed a full-time writer. And yesterday, I got another rejection, but not from a job. No, this one came from the agent who had my full. I imagine my face when I read it was much like Damian's face in Mean Girls when he finds out about Trang Pak and Coach Carr. Or like Seth in The O.C. when Kiki has to #spoileralert go to rehab.

Rejections always suck, but one has to go on. So what one did was:
  1. Cried a little bit
  2. Read Sara Biren's timely post on being rejected
  3. Ate one billion M&Ms
  4. Watched an episode of The Good Wife
  5. Got over it
I highly recommend this list of actions to anyone who has ever been rejected in any situation. Unless you don't like Nurse Hathaway, in which case you have no business being on this here blog anyway.

So sometime this weekend I will be sending out another round of queries, and sometime next week I will be filling out more job applications and wishing I could answer the question "Why are you applying for this job?" with the true answer of "BECAUSE I NEED MONEY FOR PETROL AND SHOES".

Wish me luck! 

Monday, 20 February 2012

Music Monday

Nothing like a bit of trip-hop on a Monday morning, is there?

This weekend I got a new piercing, cooked some good food, went out for dinner with some of my friends, had a false nail emergency in the car, and wrote a lot. And watched the first episode of Homeland! I'm in. What did you do?

Monday, 6 February 2012

Music Monday

You might know Tori Kelly from American Idol or from her YouTube. She is incredible and everyone in the world should know her voice. Stop writing and press play!

Cute video, right?

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

My Favourite Characters: Cyd Charisse

I have read Gingerbread by Rachel Cohn so many times that I can recite whole passages from memory:

"They take one look at his five-foot-five, surfer-shirt-wearin', baggy-jeans-slouchin', pop-tart-eatin', spiked-hair-head-self and you can just see confusion firebombs exploding in their heads, like they are thinking, Oh no, Cyd Charisse, that young man is not your homes.
   Dig this: he is."

I have read it so much that when I am reading it now I don't think I actually look at the page, I just have a little tape-player reading it out in my mind:

"I don't want you to have to like go to church and say a million Hail Marys because you had  consensual sex with an underage girl. But bases one, two and three are wide open, so why not take a shot at bat?"

I have read it so much that I think I may have sapped all the enjoyment from it:

           "Cyd Charisse's pieces is home and she's in fucking trou-trou-trouble!"

Who am I kidding? I could never stop enjoying this book.

Cyd Charisse (heretofore referred to as "CC") is awesome on oh-so-many levels. One, she is named after the legendary dancer-actress-sex bomb. Two, she is this goth-punk hybrid with black hair down to here, black skirt up to here and black platform boots that sometimes cause her to trip and fall at inopportune moments. Three, the words that come out of her mouth are truly spectacular. As a girl who likes to drop words like "dope", "wack", and "grody" without any hint of irony, CC's vocabulary appeals to me on a spiritual level. And four, she has big love for Ava Gardner, who happens to be my idol. We are soul sisters.

CC also has some very definite goals in life: to find the perfect cup of coffee, to learn how to make perfect potstickers, and to find her True Love. Soulmates again! (Minus coffee, bleurgh.) And while she may look punk on the outside, on the inside she is all about grooving out to disco. Soulmate, soulmate, soulmate!

CC is so many different things that she cannot be described in just one word. But if you like your girls outspoken, slightly loopy, unafraid of a five-inch platform and partial to dreamy, drool-worthy surfer/b-ball boys, then Cyd Charisse is the chica for you.