Sunday, 6 May 2012

Dust If Off Bloghop: Day Two

Let's pretend I actually posted this on time! 

Today's (yesterday's) task is:  Post your favorite excerpt (300-350 words)

     The sun refused to appear; instead the sky was blanketed with thick, ominous-looking clouds, through which the sun merely filtered, the horizon still a blurry navy. The wind whipped at the lingering snowflakes and half-frozen leaves scattered on the ground; it ran whispering through the trees and pulled at her clothes, chilling her skin.
     The early hour meant that the picturesque cemetery was deserted, except for the girl whose red hair billowed in the breeze, waving like a flag. She stretched out a trembling hand, fingertips grazing the weathered tombstone. Her lips moved as her eyes flickered over the familiar words, although they were already embedded in her memory.
     Cyd sat cross-legged on her mother's grave, pulling her hands inside her sleeves to protect them against the biting wind, and lowered her eyes until she was staring at the muddy ground rather than the marker. “I miss you.” Her voice was almost lost in the sound of the rising wind. “I messed up,” she admitted. “I don't know why I can't do anything right. And no-one will tell me what to do anymore.”
      “'s like when you wake up from a dream, and you haven't yet realised that it was a dream. I imagine calling you and hearing your voice, and then I realise that I can't. It's only a split-second thing, but it...” She bit her lip, then laughed at herself. “Whenever I was biting my lip, you always said that there must be something I was hiding. That's why you could always tell when I was lying to you.” She rubbed her fingers across her lower lip gently. “I have a bruise there, now.” She raised her eyes to the sky and sighed. “I miss you so, so much.”


  1. Wow! This was beautiful and heart-wrenching! The descriptions were spot on and made the my imagination explode. When she was talking to her mum I could see it so clearly I wanted to cry.
    Great job :)

  2. Amazing piece of writing! Such vivid descriptions, and very real emotions, great job!

  3. That was so beautifully written, from the descriptions that brought me into the cemetery with her to the heart breaking dialogue. Bravo. *applauds*

  4. Wow, those descriptions are fabulous!! And I love the image of the red hair in the cemetery! Thanks for joining our bloghop!

  5. Thanks so much! This is definitely my favourite part of this MS, glad that you all liked it too!

  6. Wait I never commented on your excerpt! How did that happen? Well I'm happy I realized this what a great excerpt! Your descriptions are amazing and I could picture everything so clearly. I also bite my lip when I'm lying, about to cry for a variety of reasons actually and different spots mean different things. I have one of my MC's with the same trait :)

    Thanks for hopping along with us!!!