Saturday, 25 February 2012

When Life Hands You A Eurozone Crisis...

Have I ever mentioned that I'm unemployed? I actually like to refer to myself as a full-time writer because that sounds fancy and like I do something intellectual. ("Oh, you fancy huh?" Drake asks. "Yeah, I am, boo,"I reply). In reality, though, I am just unemployed.

It's not my fault! My last job was working as a Saturday girl in a card shop where I got paid £3.45 an hour and the till was so old, if you made a mistake (such as typing in "3000" instead of "30.00") there was no option to erase it and instead you had to write a note that said, "Dear John [le boss], I accidentally pressed 3000 instead of 30.00, sorry." I just don't think people accept that as valid "previous retail experience". I also did my two weeks of work experience at House of Fraser, where I learnt how to hang bras in size order and take off those little magnetic security tag things...but sadly, I also don't think people accept this as "experience".

I have hit a low point, though. I applied for a job at a call centre. AND GOT REJECTED. Honestly, if I cannot get a job being the annoying, non-helpful person on the other end of the customer service line, what hope is there for me? I have many skills in life but I'm not sure many of them will be any use in getting me a job. For instance, I can:

  1. Apply a perfect smoky eye
  2. Make lasagne
  3. Have seven tabs open at once on Safari and not get confused
  4. Bullshit my way through an essay on symbolism in Nineteen Eighty-Four or the pros and cons of utilitarianism or the environmental impact of cotton production
  5. Do the linedance from the recent version of Footloose
But I have yet to see any of those things on the "Essential Criteria" section of a job specification.

Once more I say it is not my fault! As we all know, we are currently in an economic crisis! Protests in Greece! Bailouts! Eurozone crisis, Supercommittee, subprime mortgages, squeezed middle, budget cuts etc. And I don't exactly live in a bustling metropolis - actually, you are never more than ten minutes from a cow/sheep/horse/pig/chicken in these parts. Also llama. And one goat.

I'm sure I had a point in here somewhere...

Oh, yes. So I'm unemployed a full-time writer. And yesterday, I got another rejection, but not from a job. No, this one came from the agent who had my full. I imagine my face when I read it was much like Damian's face in Mean Girls when he finds out about Trang Pak and Coach Carr. Or like Seth in The O.C. when Kiki has to #spoileralert go to rehab.

Rejections always suck, but one has to go on. So what one did was:
  1. Cried a little bit
  2. Read Sara Biren's timely post on being rejected
  3. Ate one billion M&Ms
  4. Watched an episode of The Good Wife
  5. Got over it
I highly recommend this list of actions to anyone who has ever been rejected in any situation. Unless you don't like Nurse Hathaway, in which case you have no business being on this here blog anyway.

So sometime this weekend I will be sending out another round of queries, and sometime next week I will be filling out more job applications and wishing I could answer the question "Why are you applying for this job?" with the true answer of "BECAUSE I NEED MONEY FOR PETROL AND SHOES".

Wish me luck! 

11 comments:

  1. Oh, Becky, your post made me laugh. Esp the one billion m & m's bit. At least you have a sense of humor about it all. I believe we may be kindred spirits. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We may just be! Well, if I didn't laugh I would just be hysterically crying, and that's no good for anyone is it? Haha :)

      Delete
  2. You're not alone. I'm unemployed too. After working for ten years being that non helpful person on the other end of the customer service line, lol that made me crack up, but I actually was very helpful, I got laid off. Best thing that has ever happened to me. I realized that for ten years I was settling and I don't want to settle anymore. So now I am what I have always wanted to be, a full time writer :) Now if I can just get one agent to say yes before I run out of money and chocolate.

    Good luck with everything!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the only positive to not having a job is being able to write all the time! Hopefully one day the writing will become the job :)

      Delete
  3. Aw, I'm sorry about your rejection. Good luck with the job hunt and the continued querying! Something will come along for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks :) I'm sure something good will happen soon! (Hopefully haha)

      Delete
  4. It's a funny thing, life. It'll throw you a whole load of curveballs and leave you with no option but to work your way through a mountain of M&Ms, and then, one thing at a time, it will sort your life out again. You got rejected by that agent because THEY weren't good enough for YOU! And the job too.

    Just keep your eye on that horizon because something amazing is on its way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope so! Until that something amazing comes I will just keep writing and waiting :)

      Delete
  5. Becky, you have an AMAZING voice and your humor is outstanding. You'll have NO problem finding an agent! As for the job, I've worked everywhere from a diner, a body shop - as in cars, not, y'know, bodies - a middle school, a college, retail stores galore, and on and on and on. NONE of them filled me with purpose the way writing does. Every girl needs shoes, yes - pink ones! But use this time to write your heart out. Because when that job offer does come, you'll long for those days when you could write all day long!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Daisy, your comments always make me smile! And you're totally right, I need to write as much as possible now while I have the opportunity. Hopefully one day I will be able to look back and say I was glad I was unemployed because I wouldn't have written my widly popular, New York Times bestselling novel if I'd had a job!

      Delete
  6. I think you should always be able to say you need a job for petrol and shoes, but I am also more reasonable than people who do the hiring. I also think that writing full time should be able to pay for those things as well, so here is hoping on that.

    ReplyDelete