It's not my fault! My last job was working as a Saturday girl in a card shop where I got paid £3.45 an hour and the till was so old, if you made a mistake (such as typing in "3000" instead of "30.00") there was no option to erase it and instead you had to write a note that said, "Dear John [le boss], I accidentally pressed 3000 instead of 30.00, sorry." I just don't think people accept that as valid "previous retail experience". I also did my two weeks of work experience at House of Fraser, where I learnt how to hang bras in size order and take off those little magnetic security tag things...but sadly, I also don't think people accept this as "experience".
I have hit a low point, though. I applied for a job at a call centre. AND GOT REJECTED. Honestly, if I cannot get a job being the annoying, non-helpful person on the other end of the customer service line, what hope is there for me? I have many skills in life but I'm not sure many of them will be any use in getting me a job. For instance, I can:
- Apply a perfect smoky eye
- Make lasagne
- Have seven tabs open at once on Safari and not get confused
- Bullshit my way through an essay on symbolism in Nineteen Eighty-Four or the pros and cons of utilitarianism or the environmental impact of cotton production
- Do the linedance from the recent version of Footloose
But I have yet to see any of those things on the "Essential Criteria" section of a job specification.
Once more I say it is not my fault! As we all know, we are currently in an economic crisis! Protests in Greece! Bailouts! Eurozone crisis, Supercommittee, subprime mortgages, squeezed middle, budget cuts etc. And I don't exactly live in a bustling metropolis - actually, you are never more than ten minutes from a cow/sheep/horse/pig/chicken in these parts. Also llama. And one goat.
I'm sure I had a point in here somewhere...
Oh, yes. So I'm
unemployed a full-time writer. And yesterday, I got another rejection, but not from a job. No, this one came from the agent who had my full. I imagine my face when I read it was much like Damian's face in Mean Girls when he finds out about Trang Pak and Coach Carr. Or like Seth in The O.C. when Kiki has to #spoileralert go to rehab.
Rejections always suck, but one has to go on. So what one did was:
- Cried a little bit
- Read Sara Biren's timely post on being rejected
- Ate one billion M&Ms
- Watched an episode of The Good Wife
- Got over it
I highly recommend this list of actions to anyone who has ever been rejected in any situation. Unless you don't like Nurse Hathaway, in which case you have no business being on this here blog anyway.
So sometime this weekend I will be sending out another round of queries, and sometime next week I will be filling out more job applications and wishing I could answer the question "Why are you applying for this job?" with the true answer of "BECAUSE I NEED MONEY FOR PETROL AND SHOES".
Wish me luck!